A man comes home early one afternoon and rushes into the bedroom when he hears heavy breathing.
His wife is sprawled across the bed, red-faced and sweating.
“What on earth are you doing?” he asks.
She gasps dramatically. “I—I think I’m having a heart attack!”
He panics. “Don’t move! I’m calling an ambulance!”
As he grabs the phone, the bedroom door bursts open and his young son runs in—wearing only underwear.
“Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Joe is hiding in the closet and he stole my Spider-Man costume!”
The husband freezes.
Slowly, he lowers the phone.
He walks to the closet… and yanks the door open.
Inside is Uncle Joe—his best friend—crouched in terror, half-naked and sweating like he actually might be having a heart attack.
“What,” the husband asks calmly, “is going on?”
Joe blurts, “We were playing hide-and-seek!”
“In your underwear?”
“I… got hot?”
The wife groans from the bed. “Honey, don’t yell! You’ll make my heart worse!”
“Oh don’t worry,” the husband says. “Mine just stopped.”
Timmy looks up innocently.
“Daddy, are you mad because Uncle Joe doesn’t fit in my Spider-Man suit?”
One Week Later
The house is quiet. The tension is thick.
One evening, the husband walks in carrying a large box.
“What’s that?” his wife asks nervously.
“A home security camera system,” he says cheerfully. “HD. Night vision. Motion detection.”
Her face drains. “You don’t trust me?”
He smiles. “Let’s just say I trust technology more than ‘Uncle Joe.’”
From that day on, whenever her phone buzzed, he’d grin and say,
“Careful, sweetheart. Don’t overheat the Wi-Fi again.”
Moral of the Story
If your cover story involves fake heart attacks, closets, and superheroes…
it’s probably time to tell the truth.
And Uncle Joe?
He was never invited over again.
