H – “Hello?”

W – “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

H – “Yes.”

W – “Great! I’m at the mall two blocks from you. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It’s absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?”

H – “What’s the price?”

W – “Only $1,500.”

H – “Well… okay, go ahead and get it if you really love it.”

W – “Thanks! Oh, and while I was walking past the car showroom, I saw the new BMW we talked about. It’s on sale for only $80,000!”

H – “Are you kidding?!”

W – “No, seriously! They said I could put down a deposit today and pick it up tomorrow. Should I go for it?”

H – (pauses) “…If that’s what you want, I suppose so… but make sure it has all the extras, okay?”

W – “Perfect! Oh, one more thing—remember that beach house we saw last year? It’s back on the market for $850,000. Should I talk to the agent?”

H – (after a very long silence) “…Sure, why not? Go ahead.”

W – “Wow, honey! You’re the best! I’ll see you later. Love you!”

(After hanging up, the husband looks around the club.)

H – “Hey… does anyone here know whose phone this is?” 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

Husband: picks up phone “Hello?”

Wife: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

Husband: “Yes, of course, where else would I be?”

Wife: “Oh good… then put me on speaker.”

Husband: “Uh… why?”

Wife: “Because I just checked your closet and your golf clubs are still here.”

Husband: “…Oh, did I say club? I meant… clubhouse! At… at work! Yes, we have a… clubroom meeting.”

Wife: “Really? And is Sheila—the one who keeps ‘helping’ you with your swing—also at this… clubhouse?”

Husband: nervous laugh “Haha… funny story… I think the line is breaking up… zzzzzt—”

Wife: “Don’t you dare hang up, Harold!”

Husband: “Honey, you’re cutting ou— krrshh— loooove you, bye!” click!