On a flight from Dublin to New York, Paddy O’Reilly, a well-meaning but clueless Irishman, sat next to a Muslim man. When the stewardess offered drinks, Paddy ordered a whiskey. The Muslim declined, saying, “I’d rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!” Shocked, Paddy handed his drink back, quipping, “Me too, I didn’t know we had a choice!”
At the gate, Paddy fumbled for his boarding pass, pulling out a lunch ticket instead. “Here’s my ticket!” he declared, handing over a voucher for a chicken wrap. The amused flight attendant corrected him, barely containing her laughter, and handed him his actual pass.
Onboard, Paddy struggled with his seatbelt, asking his neighbor, “How’s this thing work? I twisted it like a pretzel!” She sighed, showing him how to buckle it. When the captain announced they were at 35,000 feet, Paddy whispered, “Are we halfway to the moon?” His neighbor chuckled, “No, still on Earth.”
When peanuts arrived, Paddy munched eagerly, believing a pub tale that they’d earn him a free upgrade. He declined a drink, saying, “I’m drunk on peanuts!” Blissfully unaware, Paddy’s mix-ups continued, making his flight a comedy of errors, much to the amusement of those around him.
