The Sister’s Lunch An elderly nun living in a convent next to a Brooklyn construction site grew tired of hearing the workers’ relentless profanity. Deciding to guide them toward a cleaner vocabulary, she packed her sandwich in a brown paper bag and strolled over during their lunch break.

Smiling warmly, she approached the group and asked, “Do any of you men know Jesus Christ?”

The workers paused and looked at each other, blank-faced. Finally, one man turned toward the towering steel framework above and shouted up to the higher girders, “Hey! Any of you guys up there know Jesus Christ?”

A faint voice hollered back, “Why?”

The worker yelled back, “Because his wife is down here with his lunch!”

The Wheelbarrow Bet A young, muscular construction worker was strutting around the job site, boasting about his unmatched strength and taking every opportunity to mock an older veteran on the crew.

After enduring the relentless flexing for nearly an hour, the older worker finally had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” he asked. “I’ll bet a week’s wages that I can wheel something over to that building that you won’t be able to wheel back.”

“You’re on, old man!” the braggart laughed. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

The veteran grabbed the handles of a nearby wheelbarrow, looked the kid dead in the eye, and said, “Alright, son… get in.”

The Hardworking Duck A duck waddles into a tavern around lunchtime, hops up onto a stool, and orders a cold beer and a ham sandwich.

The bartender stares in disbelief. “Holy cow, a talking duck! What on earth are you doing here?”

The duck rubs his eyes and says, “I’m drywalling the office building across the street. I’ll be in town for a few days.”

The next afternoon, the duck returns for lunch. The bartender rushes over, beaming. “Hey duck! I was telling someone about you last night, and they’re desperate to meet you!”

“Is that right?” the duck asks, taking a sip of beer.

“Yeah! A traveling circus is in town, and the ringmaster said you’d be the star of the show!”

The duck looks at him, totally bewildered. “Why on earth would a circus need a drywaller?”

Saying Grace A man invited his boss and key business partners home for a formal lunch. As everyone gathered around the dining table, the proud father turned to his five-year-old daughter.

“Sweetheart,” he asked, “would you like to say grace for us before we eat?”

“I don’t know what to say,” the little girl whispered, suddenly shy.

Hoping to encourage her, the mother smiled and said, “Just say whatever you heard Mommy say in the kitchen earlier!”

The little girl nodded, bowed her head, and prayed, “Dear God… why in the world did my husband have to invite all these people over for lunch?”